When I was growing up as a Catholic child, everyone I knew had a crucifix over his or her bed. At one point, I had a black plastic cross with a white glow-in-the-dark body of Jesus on it.

That may be one reason I have recoiled from having too many religious symbols in my house.

And yet... our culture is one that strongly emphasizes material things. Most of us have so many treasured non-religious objects in our homes. So I think it is important to demonstrate our spiritual values to our children by also displaying beautiful religious objects in our homes. An Advent wreath or Christmas nativity scene are easy items to start with. But some other ideas are a spiritual quote in calligraphy, a framed embroidered prayer, a paper weight, a Noah’s ark, a menorah, a religious calendar. Abbey Press is a good place to look for some inexpensive items. There are a few treasures buried in the site. But remember to keep an eye out at craft shows and art festivals. What at the annual art festival in Tempe, Arizona my sister bought me a beautiful ceramic and wood Cross decorated in the Southwestern style. It features a monk cooking, surrounded by colorful vegetables and fruits. It is a perfect reminder of the Giver of all good things in my kitchen.

But often when our hands are busy doing something like gardening, chopping vegetables for supper, or quilting, it frees our mind to think over problems and come up with creative solutions.

So I believe that open-ended work with art materials can teach us – and our children – to trust our own ways of seeing the word, which can make us receptive to new ideas and can help us to see God in all kinds of experiences.

Open-ended work with art materials means that when you work with the materials, it is not with a definite outcome or project in mind. For example, you and your child may each want to sit down at the kitchen table with a tennis ball sized piece of clay. To start, you may ask your child to think about something good that happened today. Think about something good in your own day as well. As you and your child think about the events, express your feelings in your own piece of clay. Press it, pound it, shape it, while feeling the clay. Stop to look at the clay from time to time, but don’t worry about whether what you are making looks “right.” And don’t make any judgments about what is made out of your piece of clay – or your child’s. Just experience working with the clay as a connection with your spiritual side.

If your child shows you his or her clay, just make a non-critical comment like, “Hmm I see a round-ish shape.” or ask “How did you feel when you were working with this clay?”

Use of art materials in this way can foster creative thinking skills and new ways of approaching the world. The creative thinking skills I’m talking about are things like being able to imagine a diverse range of possibilities when solving a problem or having the courage to try something new.

Creative moments are vital to every thing we do in any area of life – in family relationships, work, and community. We may think we are not creative, but creativity occurs whenever we modify a recipe, find a new way to inspire a colleague, or come up with the right words to stop a quarrel within our family. Creativity is an important attribute to encourage in our children, because when the Creative Spirit stirs, it animates a style of being. When our children operate from a creative center, they will experience a lifetime filled with the desire to innovate, to explore better ways of doing things, to bring dreams into reality, and to bring the kingdom of God a little closer to us all.

Are there special times in your life when you feel spiritually connected to someone or something? If you are like most people, you do, but ...

• You may not have thought about what makes you feel spiritual, or closer to God.
• You may not have the words to express what you are feeling. 
• You may feel that spiritual matters are private.
• You may not want to express these feelings of deep connection for fear of being laughed at. 

Studies by Robert Cole, a psychiatrist and author of The Spiritual Lives of Children, have shown that young children in all cultures show evidence of feelings of deep spiritual connection to the world around them. Yet by the time they are eight years old, most children stop talking about such feelings because they feel ridiculed for doing so.

People are spiritual beings whether or not they admit it. Words are a powerful witness. Once you are in touch with what makes you feel spiritual or closer to God, try to find words to express yourself. Then mention your feelings to your family from time to time without being preachy. What makes us people of faith is our willingness to share the Good News, however quietly.

An example of what I've said to my children, "When I am kneading bread, I sometimes think about the wheat and how it grew and was ground into flour and how magic it seems when the yeast and some heat turn the dough into bread. Then, when I smell the bread baking, it smells so amazing that I feel close to the mystery of how the Earth feeds us -- and closer to God who made it all."

Although older children -- and even your spouse -- may seem dismissive of what you are saying, they will go away and ponder it in their hearts.

Janice Gordon, the Rector (or Senior Pastor) of the congregation where I work, has established a Friday evening fun program for families with young children. The goals are to provide a service for harried parents and to create a stronger sense of community among parents and children in our church.

Janice’s idea was that we would feed the whole family supper and the parents could then choose to stay and network with one another or go out for a couple of hours of adult time while their children remain in the parish hall for supervised play and activities. We play active games and board games, watch brief videos, and make crafts such as treasure boxes and sun visors.

Somehow First Fridays has morphed into Second Fridays, but we are in our tenth month of the program. The timing of a Friday evening program is tricky. The original concept was to limit the program to two hours, which doesn’t give a lot of time to parents who want to see a movie together, but there is time for an adult dinner out – or a shopping excursion without the children. Our current hours are from 6 – 8 pm. The beginning time allows working parents to get through rush hour traffic, pick up their children and take them to the parish hall. But the ending time is maybe a bit late for young children’s bed time. There are currently about 8 families who participate in the program. We are open to “tweaking” the hours, and hope that it will become an established indication that our congregation is concerned with the welfare of parents who have young children. 

Our children experience more stress than we might imagine. To me, the idea of childhood stress seems contrary to the very nature of childhood, which is supposed to be a carefree time filled with opportunities for play and friends and joyful experiences. But in fact, my own children lived through many stressful events as they were growing up, not the least of which was the period when their father and I were separated and on the verge of divorce.

I imagine most parents have known times when their children suffer from anxiety at night or tummy aches in the morning due to issues at school or incidents with other children. And I think many of us forget that we can teach our children ways of talking themselves down from stressful situations in their lives.

I have just found a program that offers some tools for dealing with childhood stress. The three CDs, created by Lori Lite, are available separately from many sources (see my resource page). They are Indigo Dreams, Indigo Ocean Dreams, and Indigo Teen Dreams. The CDs contain “c hildren's stories designed to decrease stress, anger and anxiety while increasing self-esteem and self-awareness.” That does sound like a dream! On the CDs, m usic is combined with a relaxing voice telling brief stories. Many parents say their children emerge from listening to the CD feeling more positive about themselves. Others report that their children ask to listen to the CD several nights a week. I have not tried them yet, but I intend to use them in the groups of children and youth I work with. I will report the results later in this blog.