John, my husband, still rushes to the mailbox every day, nearly grabbing the snail mail from the letter deliverer’s hands. John tells me that there might be a letter proclaiming him “Emperor of the World.” So far, no such proclamation has arrived. But still, I think most of us experience a flutter of excitement when a real letter or a package arrives for us.

Every few months, I try to choose a handful of greeting cards and send them to a family member or a friend with whom I’ve fallen out of touch. And I love putting together occasional “care packages.” When I contemplate sending a card or package, the individual tasks involved seem onerous. But I really do enjoy shopping for greeting cards or the contents of a package. (It’s much more fun than clothes shopping!) And I like fitting the card into an envelope, or items into a box and taping it shut as I imagine the pleasure of the recipient.

I remember looking forward to packages at summer camp. My mom always came through with at least one a week. So last week I sent a care package to Joe, a colleague who is staff director of Camp Amazing Grace, which is in its third year serving children who have an incarcerated parent. It’s a challenge to find just the right balance of small toys, magazines, useful items and edible treats and keep within a care package budget. Among other things, Joe got a “improve your brain” puzzle book, some water balloons, Charlie Brown stickers, Life savers, pretzels, M&Ms and gummy bears.

I could hear the joyful smile in his voice in the phone message I got the day Joe received the package. It made waiting in line at the post office worth it.

You can always order pre-made care packages from the Internet. I think the recipients would be just as happy with one of those. There are sites that specialize in packages for soldiers, college students, and everyday occasions.

Next week, my daughter Alice is who working for Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth in Palo Alto will get a package. I wonder what I’ll find to put inside?

Rosemary, a friend from my past, was asked in an interview what sorts of things she does to take care of herself. One of the things Rosemary listed was, "I buy myself flowers once a week."  From the profusion of flowers I see available in the produce departments of grocery stores, I'm guessing Rosemary is not alone.  A recent study by Nancy Etcoff, PhD from Harvard University,  explored the relationship between flowers and mood. Fifty-four women were quizzed about their moods, then sent either flowers or candle arrangements. After a week, the women who got candles were quizzed again on their moods and reported a mix of positive and negative emotions. But those who received flowers said that they felt more compassionate and felt fewer negative emotions.  Of course this is not a large enough study to justify any scientific conclusions.  But seeing even a single stem of fresh flowers in my kitchen in the morning makes me smile and lifts my spirits.

In the summer, my own yard (I can't justify calling it a garden!) sometimes provides the blooms for free. Other times, I only need to spend five dollars at the farmer's market or grocery store to have a stem of lilies or Gerbera daisies that can last a whole week. But like Rosemary, I have decided not to wait for friends or family to buy me flowers.

My mom raised me to make time for celebrations. When I was a sophomore in high school, I planned surprise birthday parties for all five of my closest friends. When my birthday came at the end of the school year, I went to school confident that there were be a cake or special surprise for me. But it became clear by lunchtime that no one had planned anything special. I walked home for lunch, depressed and unhappy.  "How could my friends let me down, after all the parties we hosted?" I wailed to my mother. 

"It's your birthday, you can throw the party," she said. Mom suggested that she could make Chinese food and I could go back to school and invite my friends for dinner that evening. It turned out to be a wonderful party, even though my friend Tony's impromptu gift idea was to sprinkle ketchup on his index finger, stick it through a hole in a jewelry box , and invite me to lift the lid of the box as he held it in his hand.

Even now my mother makes her own birthday celebrations. She stretches the festivities out over a week -- inviting the people she likes to various breakfast and lunch gatherings. Sometimes it's Dutch treat; sometimes it's Mom's treat.  The important thing is that she marks the time as special by having a celebration rather than waiting for others to plan something. It's a lesson in being responsible for your own happiness that I will never forget.

P.S. The photo above is my family at my Dad's 75th birthday brunch.

Feeding people fills me with joy. I like to feed people with delicious and beautifully presented food, but I feel it is important to nurture their spiritual side as well. I like to make ordinary occasions special, and “threshold” occasions memorable.

Spending time in the company of children and young people inspires my sense of wonder. When I listen carefully in their presence, I sometimes hear things that make my heart ache, but often hear them share things that make my spirit soar.

Those two statements are who I am in a nutshell. I have spent the past twenty years parenting twins, helping to start a cooperative elementary school, educating children, youth, and adults in church settings, training teachers all over the United States in the art of Godly Play, leading youth groups, and cooking for friends and for large groups. An important part of all this work has been making occasions special with worship, rites of passage, and parties. Through it all, I often hear people say, “Don’t go to so much trouble! Keep it simple.”

When I was younger, there was no such thing as “too much trouble” for a special event. My husband recalls the St. Nicholas party ten years ago for which I made papier mache underliner plates for all 16 of our dinner guests. And every bit of food I served, from the bread to the puff pastry at dessert, had to be made by my loving hands. I railed in sermons and speeches against frozen lasagna church suppers. “People need to know that they are deeply cared for,” I said, “and frozen lasagna does not send that message.”

But now, as our lives seem to fly by faster than ever, and as our children’s list of activities lengthens each year, I yearn to find ways to make our lives special while keeping it as simple as possible. Commuting between school and sports activities, having a role in the school play, communicating with friends via E-mail and “I-Ms,” video games and homework take up so much time in the lives of young people and their parents.

I want our children and youth to remember at least some intergenerational events like baptisms, birthdays, confirmations -- and yes, occasionally -- family dinners, as events to look back on and cherish.

And outrageous as it may seem to them, I want our children and youth to have some warm feelings about Sunday school, youth group, and congregational suppers. I want them to see that their religious institutions think they are worth “making it special.”

I want to share ideas, dreams, and plans for expanding joy and wonder using approaches that are as simple as possible because I know we are all far too busy. But I still refuse to serve frozen lasagna at a church dinner!