Feeding people fills me with joy. I like to feed people with delicious and beautifully presented food, but I feel it is important to nurture their spiritual side as well. I like to make ordinary occasions special, and “threshold” occasions memorable.

Spending time in the company of children and young people inspires my sense of wonder. When I listen carefully in their presence, I sometimes hear things that make my heart ache, but often hear them share things that make my spirit soar.

Those two statements are who I am in a nutshell. I have spent the past twenty years parenting twins, helping to start a cooperative elementary school, educating children, youth, and adults in church settings, training teachers all over the United States in the art of Godly Play, leading youth groups, and cooking for friends and for large groups. An important part of all this work has been making occasions special with worship, rites of passage, and parties. Through it all, I often hear people say, “Don’t go to so much trouble! Keep it simple.”

When I was younger, there was no such thing as “too much trouble” for a special event. My husband recalls the St. Nicholas party ten years ago for which I made papier mache underliner plates for all 16 of our dinner guests. And every bit of food I served, from the bread to the puff pastry at dessert, had to be made by my loving hands. I railed in sermons and speeches against frozen lasagna church suppers. “People need to know that they are deeply cared for,” I said, “and frozen lasagna does not send that message.”

But now, as our lives seem to fly by faster than ever, and as our children’s list of activities lengthens each year, I yearn to find ways to make our lives special while keeping it as simple as possible. Commuting between school and sports activities, having a role in the school play, communicating with friends via E-mail and “I-Ms,” video games and homework take up so much time in the lives of young people and their parents.

I want our children and youth to remember at least some intergenerational events like baptisms, birthdays, confirmations -- and yes, occasionally -- family dinners, as events to look back on and cherish.

And outrageous as it may seem to them, I want our children and youth to have some warm feelings about Sunday school, youth group, and congregational suppers. I want them to see that their religious institutions think they are worth “making it special.”

I want to share ideas, dreams, and plans for expanding joy and wonder using approaches that are as simple as possible because I know we are all far too busy. But I still refuse to serve frozen lasagna at a church dinner!